dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
