Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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