i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
