plz talk dirty to me
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
