we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
