I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Green mimosas i think yes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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