Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize