I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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