Dual....:-)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
