you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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