This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
