Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
