She said her name was "party"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i love accidental penises.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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