My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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