And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
