kristin has been a bad kristin
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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