with your own penis?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
