Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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