even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
