Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
