my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
