you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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