you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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