I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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