btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
