Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
