so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
