Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
