I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
