It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
