we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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