thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
