we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
