I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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