It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
