Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
