1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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