my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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