He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
