Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
