You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize