I'm lost and stupid without you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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