haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
