no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
