I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize