Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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