this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
