I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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