dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
