It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize