im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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