addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
