i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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