What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize