I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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