So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
