nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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