It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
