throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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