just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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