omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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