Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
