i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
